2021 has drawn to a close, and unless you have exited the social world (and who would blame you), you know that we are living in uncertain times. It would be easy to blame the pandemic on all of the world’s suffering, but if you have been a citizen of this planet for long enough, you know that this has been long in the making. It all boils down to disconnection from ourselves and each other.
Connection
Looking back on my childhood, I consider myself extremely fortunate to have grown up without social media. Learning to be a social being involved long phone conversations with my closest friends into the wee hours of the night, sleepovers almost every weekend with those same besties, going on dates with boyfriends, and all the other ways I spent IN PERSON time with other humans. I learned social cues, and I was able to practice (and mess up on the regular) how to be a partner platonically or romantically, and experience the energy of the people I chose to relate to. As a mom to 4 children ages 21-13, I see their opportunities to engage with others slipping away, and I worry for them. Voicemail, text messages, emails, apps, and contactless business transactions are all recent innovations that have removed connection from everyday lives, and I fear that the next generation is emerging into adulthood without being truly seen, heard, felt and understood. Even bigger than that…do they even know what they are missing?
Get Vulnerable, Lovers
A relationship with another person is not required in order to establish connection, so singles and attached people alike are able to benefit from some simple (but often not easy) practices. Reconnect with yourself, listen to your own voice, recognize what you need. This can be done through therapy, yoga, breathwork, meditation, and nature just to name a few. If you are in a partnership as Joshua and I are, reach out to them. Literally, TOUCH your person in a non-sensual way: scratch their back, hold hands, kiss them affectionately on the cheek or forehead. Give them a piece of you for a moment without expecting anything in return. If touch is too much for your current situation, you still have options: talk to each other about something that matters, look and actually SEE your person in front of you, show appreciation for them just being present in your life with a smile. Get vulnerable. And if all of that feels right, get naked. Skin on skin. Forehead to forehead. Chest to chest. This could be for the night, for a while, or forever. We are meant to connect with others in the flesh. We are meant to be lovers. Put down your electronics, tear down the walls you’ve built around your heart, and feel the love. The world needs lovers more than ever.
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